June is the month for weddings: attending them, getting inspired by them and planning them.
So on the June 12 episode of the Wake Women podcast, I spoke to three seasoned wedding planners, all Wake Forest alums, about all things weddings. Amy Shack Egan (’14), CEO of Cheersy and author of “The Rebel Wedding Planning Guide,” Becca Atchison (’03), owner of Rebecca Rose Events, and (’83), owner of Hidden River Events, gave me their best tips and sources of inspiration.
These experts all bring a different background and perspective to their wedding planning businesses, so their advice can apply to pretty much any size and style of wedding celebration.
Sommer came to wedding planning almost by accident when, as a wedding officiant, she watched stressed couples lose sight of what their day was really about. Now she hosts and plans beautiful destination weddings at her North Carolina mountain property. Atchison brings a designer’s eye to drop-dead gorgeous celebrations in the Winston-Salem region and around the world. Egan is the self-described rebel in the group, encouraging clients to break traditions and make their own rules when planning their weddings. Her book is chock-full of out-of-the-box ideas for putting a personal mark on your special day.
Below are five takeaways from our conversation.
1. Start with your budget before anything else. Don’t book a single vendor or sign any contracts until you’ve established a realistic budget, says Atchison. The “average wedding cost” statistics you see are meaningless because they lump together courthouse ceremonies and thousand-person galas. Your budget needs to be built around your specific priorities, guest count, location and financial situation. She says that “budget development and stewardship … has to be done before you make any decisions as a couple, before you book anything, before you sign any contracts.”
2. Know yourself before diving into the planning. Sommer’s advice is to assess honestly whether you’re the type of person who enjoys making hundreds of detailed decisions. If not, delegate and trust your vendors or hire a wedding planner. Otherwise, you risk arriving at your own wedding already wanting it to be over. “Everything you do about your day should be with gratitude and with ease,” she says.
3. Don’t let wedding planning consume your relationship. Wedding planning can swallow you whole if you let it. Egan recommends picking one night a week with your partner where wedding conversations are completely off the table and scheduling a quarterly “day date” that’s just fun — mini golf, an activity, anything that reminds you why you’re doing this in the first place. If planning is actively damaging your relationship, let the small stuff go. “If it’s negatively affecting your relationships to the point where it’s potentially chipping away at the very thing that we are here to celebrate, it’s not that important,” she says.
4. Rewrite the rules. Egan built her brand around “rebel weddings,” emphasizing that there’s no single template a wedding has to follow. Whether that means skipping the wedding party, doing a courthouse ceremony followed by a dinner party, or swapping the bouquet toss for a stage dive — the best weddings reflect who the couple actually is. As she says, “Human beings are so much more creative than one person can be. Who are you as a person? How do we amplify that in an event?”
5. Keep the focus on the marriage, not the performance. “The best gift you can give your guests is a window into what real love looks like between two people,” says Sommer. The traditions you keep, toss or reimagine should serve the couple, not outside expectations. Allow your guests to witness a genuine, present moment between two people who love each other. Everything else is just a backdrop.
You can listen to the full Wake Women episode wherever you get your podcasts.
